I have bad luck with avocados.
I just can’t seem to keep track of them. I shop for them. I put them in my cart. I pay for them. And then, something goes decidedly – or perhaps magically – wrong.
I leave the store with an avocado in my bag and when I come home, it is gone.
I lose avocados like they are socks on laundry day.
And that isn’t exactly the easiest thing to do. Avocados aren’t small – as fruits go.
I mean, a person could quite easily lose a grape or a blueberry or even a cherry tomato. But an avocado? One wouldn’t think so.
I wouldn’t have, had it not happened to me personally – on numerous occasions.
It started years ago. Back then, I blamed it on my husband. He and I used to go to the grocery store to acquire provisions for supper. On at least two occasions, our list included an avocado (for guacamole).
In the aftermath of the avocado escape, both he and I remembered (clearly) choosing the avocado – because choosing an avocado of the correct firmness is tantamount to its inclusion in dinner (and guacamole) on any given night. We remembered removing the avocado from the cart to the conveyor belt of the checkout lane. We even remembered seeing the avocado in our bag as we walked to the car.
And then, everything gets blurry.
Because we arrived at home and unpacked the groceries and didn’t notice the errant avocado(s) immediately because who itemizes their grocery acquisitions on such a specific level so soon after returning from the store?
Certainly not us. We didn’t notice the avocado’s absence until right before dinner – when it was time to prepare the guacamole.
It was at this point it became obvious that the avocado had gone AWOL.
This happened more than once – maybe more than twice, but enough to make me know we were avocado cursed.
And then, unexpectedly, the curse was lifted, and my life was filled with avocados anew.
Until this week.
When I purchased an avocado for dinner.
And when dinner time came near, and it was time to make the guacamole there was no avocado in my kitchen.
It was like history was repeating itself.
I looked in all the usual places and came up avocado empty. We ate supper sans guacamole, and everyone forgot about the lack thereof – except me.
I just couldn’t let it go.
But I had to. What recourse does a person have when she can’t find her avocado? Not much.
Life went on.
The next day, I followed my normal routine, which included an exercise class in the morning. When I returned to my house around noon, I noticed a weird lumpy shape my driveway. I thought it might be a dead bird. After driving the car into the garage, I walked out to the driveway to examine the clumpy lump.
You’re already two steps ahead of me, aren’t you?
And with that, you’d be correct. The lump was a squished avocado. Apparently, it rolled out of my hatchback (or shopping bag) when I unloaded groceries the day before. And then, that morning, I’ve driven over it with the car.
Mystery solved! Give me a Scooby snack.
Or better yet, an avocado.
